Happy New Year 2012 and 50's in My Mind :D

Happy New Year 2012

50's in My Mind

1. tak suke gune bantal tyme td0.. kaL0 pkai p0n, bantal yang Leper seteBaL 2cm sahaja~
2. b0Leh Layan main s0Litaire (ye aku tau macam 0rang tua) tanpa menghiraukan waktu makan/td0..
3. sanggup minum s0ya sampai 4 k0tak sehari sbb malas nak kua bLi makanan, pastu kne bas0h tangan...
4. allergic peluh sendiri :P
5. kulit sensitif ngan gigitan nyamuk... abes merah2 :'(
6. senang hangin, garang dan suke maki2 ble sedang marah.. jaga2!
7. suke perfume.. tak kesah duit habis beLi perfume :D
8. enj0y Listening t0 the same s0ng f0r milli0n times/day f0r weeks... haha
9. suspici0uS t0 pe0pLe even th0ugh dah kenaL Lame... yang baru kenal apetah Lagi..
10. suke kerja nurse.. suka jaga patient.. tapi easiLy hilang patience biLe patient mengada2...
11. tak suke 0rang ber"aku-kau" biLe muLakan c0nversati0n.. especiaLLy dengan c0lleague/0rang atasan..
12. suke kucing.. tapi skang dah tak bela kucing... kenapekah..?!
13. dalam ati suke gelakkan 0rang yang perasan bag0s.. tapi tak tunjuk depan2..
14. suke makan s0rang2 sbb 0rang tak nampak cara kita makan cane..
15. menganggap lelaki berkawan ngan diri ini kerna ada muslihat disebaliknya >;(
16. percaya bahawa sedikit j0ngang itu cantek :)
17. selalu tanye pada diri ini... i ade bestfriend ke tak ek? hmm~
18. tak suka mengumpat.. tapi suka mengutuk.. hahaha :))
19. teringin j0in vacati0n.. tapi selalu tiada kesempatan... dan juga teman.. huhu..
20. percaya bahawasanya n0t aLL bad-Lo0king pe0ple are bad, and n0t aLL go0d-Lo0king pe0pLe are reaLLy go0d..
21. tak reti nak 0ffer, tapi biLe 0rang mintak, saLu memberi..
22. susahnye memasak nasi.. berbanding Lauk pauk~
23. saye sKema.. ye, saya skema!
24. L0ve c0mparing things..
25. kenape rase cam ramai 0rang selalu mempermainkan beta?
26. tak suke minyak angin cap kapak.. suke minyak angin cap dua singa.. aumm!
27. muka ini seLaLu bertukar tukar... aneh kan? hehe :P
28. grey hair? :X
29. m0st pe0pLe said that i Lo0k m0re mature than my bi0L0gicaL age..
30. nak paKai fake eyeLashes.. aci tak?
31. suke nangis biLe tengah tensi0n atau marah, berbanding ketika sedih..
32. s0n0knye kara0ke :P
33. waja encem bertambah encem Lepas dicuci..
34. senang rase jeLes.. taPi tidak di riak wajah...
35. ape akan jadi biLe mena kawin nanti?
36. malas memasak kerna tam0 basuh pinggan mangk0k kuali periuk sudu garfu senduk pisau bagai...
37. b0leh layan satu muvee teng0k sampai 5 hari... haha~
38. hate pe0pLe with bad b0dy/ m0uth 0d0ur!! eeeyyyeeekkkkk!!!
39. gemuk dan pendek..
40. dear sir/madam, can y0u pLease Learn h0w t0 respect 0ther pe0pLe..? thank y0u!
41. when i feeL bad, i kn0w that there are th0sands pe0pLe 0ut there feeLing the same way 0r even w0rse...
42. rezeki di tangan tuhan, taPi kite mesti usaha supaya kita Layak mendapat rezeki itu..
43. n0t reaLLy enj0y texting 0n the ph0ne..
44. kaL0 k0rang nak kua, ajakLah mena di sini..
45. suke teng0k 0rang cantik, tapi menyampah bile 0rang yang cantik perasan cantik... cane tu?
46. there's n0 need t0 sh0w 0ff the cr0wd that u r s0 in L0ve Like there's n0b0dy did..
47. enj0y watching muvee f0r a cinema-ra-th-0n.. hehe :P
49. Like t0 adapt feeLings and mo0d int0 s0ngs..
50. setiap 0rang pasti pernah ada bad hist0ry.. tapi b0Leh tak kite f0rget the past, sebagai suatu pengajaran, Let's start a new chapter f0r a better Life.. dan jangan ungkit, pLease~

*Currently listening to Rod Stewart - I Don't Want To Talk About It

Let's cook!

Nasi Minyak

Dalca

Kambing Masak Rempah

Capatti

Gulai Kawah

Purposely posted to make you all hungry.. Hehehe :P
*Currently listening to ABBA - The Piper

Walimatulurus Wanie dan Rozek serta tindakan berani mati :P

Sword Bearer gitu

  "Selamat Pengantin Baru kepada Wanie dan Rozek. Semoga bahgia dan damai selalu" :)

.........
Sebenarnye time ni aku cuti sehari je. Bayangkan betapa gilenye aku, sampai KL tengah malam sehari sebelum pergi Penang untuk kenduri diorang ni. Pagi buta 17 Dis 2011 tu dah bertolak ke Penang dengan Mama Meen. Singgah di Taiping untuk fetch up Linda dan aku take turn jadi driver ke Penang untuk majlis diorang. Habis je makan nasi minyak, terus amik gambo dengan pengantin dan cabut lari ke airport dan naik Firefly dari Penang-Subang-Kuantan. Sebab nye esok tu aku kerja am shift. Hehehe :P

P/s: Demi kawan beb.. Nak dapat berkat orang kahwin camni la..

*Currently listening to P Ramlee - Gambus Jodoh

HTAA Medical Night 10 December 2011

 Enjoy these pictures~

The Poco-poco O8C version girls

Kak Su - Make up by me :D

L-R: Kak Aisyah and Kak Herda - Make up by me :D

Half of us the O8C :)

*Currently listening to Pico Pico Pong Pong Song :D

Majlis Makan Malam Anugerah Cemerlang Kejururawatan Kementerian Kesihatan Malaysia Bahagian Kejururawatan dan Spinning di Kilometer 95-100 Lebuhraya Pantai Timur~

Aku, Fang Fang, dan Hanani telah dijemput ke Majlis Makan Malam seperti tajuk di atas pada 18 November 2011 di Hotel Berjaya Times Square, KL. As usual, aku kerja juga lah pagi tu. Habis je kerja, rest kejap dan terus fetch Fang Fang dan Hanani dan terus shoot ke KL. At that time, hujan renyai-renyai gitu. Aku tak rasa aku speed sangat. Masa lepas Temerloh kat lebih kurang Kilometer 95-100 selepas signboard Lanchang sebelum Tol Karak, tiba-tiba Encem telah terskidded. Dah lah drive kat lane kanan. Dengan immediate response, aku pun break. Encem pun spin kat right lane tu. Nasib baik tak langgar divider highway. 2 kali spin tu beb! 2 kali! Mase berpusing tu, aku tengok kereta belakang aku sume emergency break sebab nak elak aku. ALHAMDULILLAH, ALLAHUAKBAR. Aku dan kawan-kawan tak hade apa-apa. Encem pun baik-baik saja.


Finally, we safely arrived the hotel at 830pm. Actually we are supposed to register at 7.30pm. Huhu.. What a tiring day :'(

*Currently not listening to any songs ...

October :D

27 October 2011
That was my 25th birthday!
I assumed that I will celebrate my birthday alone, as I always did before.
Suddenly, I received a call from a friend, she said that she wanted to meet me at Benteng (Kuantan Esplanade) to give me something.
We finally met there and guess what?
I got a home made birthday cake!!! Than You Kak Pah!
Suke2 :D

28-29 October 2011
Attended the 3rd Pahang Regional Nursing Technical Meeting at HoSHAS. As a result of prolonged sitting, the pain at saccrococcygeal region began.
When I came back Kuantan, I found that the cyst became red, tender, and elevated.

30 October 2011
I went to the casualty for an Incision & Drainage (I&D). But the doctor kept telling me that they will only perform the procedure once it get ruptured. At that time, the bump measured 4x4cm.
My sister came to my room that night and gave me belated birthday slice of Ben's Red Velvet cake!!! Yummy!!
Suke2 :D

31 October 2011
I woke up in the morning and found that the bump ruptured and abscess mixed with blood drained from my tailbone area flooding my bedsheet :'(
I went to the casualty again and the doctor assessed the wound and suggest for I&D. I was admitted to a ward in HTAA and was diagnosed as Pilonidal abscess sized 3x3cm (after ruptured). The I&D done in the treatment room under Local Anesthesia as it will be waste of time to wait for a slot in an Operation Theater.
Few hours after the procedure I started to feel the pain that I almost can't tolerate because the gauze packing inside the cavity was being pushed too deep, I guess, and I was prescribed T. Ponstan 500mg TDS. Hu Hu. Seems not enough but I tried various of non-pharmacology pain relief. They works!
I only sleep with lateral or prone position. My butt hurts so much. He He.

1 November 2011
The Wound Inspection was a real pain that I shouted out loud when the doctor was trying to remove the gauze pack. And blood oozing out. He he. The incision wound was kept opened to allow remaining abscess or debris to drained out. Daily dressing is essential to promote wound healing process :D
Mummy and Babah came for a visit, upon my discharge. I got 2 weeks of MC. He he.

10 causes of demotivation I have~

1.) You’re demotivated by fear

When you’re afraid, even if you’re entering territory that you’ve chosen to move into, a part of yourself is determined to avoid going forward. Fear slows you down and makes you hesitant and careful, which can be beneficial to you, but sometimes your fears are based on your imagination rather than an accurate assessment of the risks in your reality. If your fear is big enough, even if you’re also excited to go forward, the part of you that wants to keep you safe can successfully prevent you from going forward into territory that’s both desirable and safe.

Me: Fear of critics and lose of trustworthy from other people. I know people look down upon me, though I am doing well in certain things.

2.) You’re demotivated by setting the wrong goals

Martha Beck has a great model for understanding motivation. She explains that we have an Essential Self and a Social Self. Your Essential Self is the part of you that’s spontaneous and creative and playful, the part that knows what’s most important to you. Your Social Self is the part of you that developed since the day you were born, learning the rules of the tribe and working hard to make sure that you’re safe by making you follow the rules of the tribe.
We’re all surrounded with so many messages that feed into our Social Selves and we’re keen to impress our tribe. When you feel demotivated, it’s because you’re setting goals based purely on what your Social Self wants and this is pulling you away from the direction your Essential Self wants you to take. Your Essential Self uses demotivation to slow you down and try to disinterest you from the toxic goals you’ve set.

Me: I set a perfect goal before until people on the higher authority ruins it. And now, there will be no more goals. Just go with the flow.

3.) You’re demotivated by lack of clarity about what you want

When you haven’t consciously and clearly articulated what you want, your picture of your future will be vague. We like what’s familiar and so we resist what’s unfamiliar and vague and we stay with and re-create what’s familiar to us instead. If you’re not clear about what you want to create, then it makes sense that you’ll lack motivation to act because you’d rather stay with your current familiar reality.

Me: I want to be the best nurse, giving impact to the healthcare setting in this MOH. When the people said you must do this, that, these and those, and no full stop, so I think my passion just gone. I’d choose to stay with current order from the higher authority until when? I’m not sure.

4.) You’re demotivated by a values-conflict

Your values are what are important to you in life. If you have a values conflict it means that there are two or more values that are important to you but you feel that you can’t satisfy all of those values in a particular situation. This causes you to feel conflicted and pulled in different directions as you try to find ways to get what’s important to you. You might have brief spurts of motivation to work on something and then lose motivation and start working on something else or your motivation might dry up altogether because the energy of dealing with internal conflict quickly tires you out and saps your motivation.

Me: I want to be a good nurse. I want to show people that degree nurses aren’t do shit. I did all by myself. But, at last, people don’t recognize me. I am tired of trying my best to gain acknowledgement from people but they are too blind to see. So, what I do now is just do what people want me to do – doing regular nurse jobs and tasks. Nothing extraordinary. See, now you can’t differentiate between the graduate nurses and the current staff nurse. It’s a waste. So sad.

5.) You’re demotivated by lack of autonomy

We thrive on autonomy. We all have a decision-making center in our brains and this part of us needs to be exercised. Studies have found that this decision-making center in the brain is under-developed in people who have depression and that, by practicing using this part of the brain and making decisions, depression often clears.

Me: Before this, I tend to make my own non-idiot-kind-of decision making. Until people said, “You are a nurse. So, just follow orders”. Then some people said, “We know that you are good. But to show off your brightness is a waste. Nobody hears you”. Whenever I voiced out an opinion in order to push the nursing profession towards higher level, people said, “We did research regarding this. And who are you to judge? Before this, none of them says things about this policy. And now you came and wanted to us to change?” The reality is, I just giving an opinion based on what I learned in my former nursing school and what we’d practice in my previous university hospital. They should be glad that I care to share.

6.) You’re demotivated by lack of challenge

When it comes to dealing with challenges, there’s a sweet spot. Too great a challenge and the fear becomes too great and saps our motivation, and if the challenge is too small, we quickly get bored and struggle to stay motivated. We’re designed to be living, growing creatures and we need constant challenge and opportunities to master new skills. Without challenge, our Essential Self steps in and demotivates us as a way of telling us that we’ve departed from the path that’s right for us.

Me: My challenge is the same like other nurses. That is no challenge. So, I have nothing here to proof that I am different from others.

7.) You’re demotivated by grief

At the beginning of any change, we go through a phase of wondering if we should or could hang onto the way things were and grieving what we’d be losing if we make significant changes. Confusion, self-doubt, mistrust of the world around us and feeling lost are common symptoms and the bigger the change, the more powerful these symptoms. Sometimes we even go through a bit of depression and social withdrawal. With all the grieving and fearing and feeling lost that goes on in this phase, it’s normal for your motivation to dry up.

Me: If I said something about the current management and policy, people will keep on criticizing me behind. People will lose trust, and withdraw me from the community. The truth? I will never trust you people!

8.) You’re demotivated by loneliness

This is an especially important one for those of us who work alone from home. You know those days when you feel a bit cabin-feverish, you just don’t feel like working and you’d rather be out having a drink with a friend or playing a game of soccer? Well perhaps it’s because we’re designed to be social creatures and sometimes your Essential Self is just longing for some connection with other people and so it steps in and hi-jacks your work motivation so that you’ll take a break from work and go and spend some time with other people and give your Essential Self what it needs.

Me: I am working with some colleagues and other health care team members, and also not forgetting the managerial persons. They are just not helping. Better to work alone until I feel tired, stress and showing a bitter-sour face. Cute, huh?

9.) You’re demotivated by burn-out

Since I attract over-achieving Type A’s, and as a recovering Type A myself, I know that sometimes we’re banging on about wanting to get more done even after we’ve exceeded the limit on what’s sustainable. If you’re feeling tired all the time, have lost your energy for socializing, and the idea of taking a snooze sounds more compelling than the stuff you’re usually interested in, then you’ve probably pushed yourself too long and hard and you may be burned out.

Me: Undoubtedly, I am a Type A person.

10.) You’re demotivated by not knowing what to do next

Your end-goal might be nice and clear, but if you haven’t taken time to chunk your end-goal down into smaller goals, you’ll get stuck, confused and demotivated when it’s time to take action. Some projects are small and familiar enough that they don’t need a plan, but if you’re often worrying that you don’t know what to do next and you don’t have a clear plan, then this might be the source of your demotivation.

Me: Of course I don’t know what I supposed to do next. Because there are people up there master mind-ing my future, like a chess match. I only have to wait for their orders. It is too bad.

P/S: The dullness of my future is coming. Thank you people! Why nursing profession in this country is so lame?

I never say that I hate my job.

P/S: I'm posting this after had a discussion over an hour with numbers of matrons in their office, regarding my future plans yang kehancuran. And mostly about my attitude that has been changed from Hero to Zero. As I said, I am now De-Motivated. Just dump me at any place to do any job, I don't mind. Yes, I am now not the same person as before. Turned negatively towards kegelapan. Just let me go, please...




*Currently listening to Whitney Houston - Try It On My Own

Source: http://www.productiveflourishing.com/how-to-recover-from-10-types-of-demotivation/. Do visit here, their writings are awesome!